For those who, like myself, are positive minded, you already know this. Positivity is not an automatically natural, constant or easy thing. I think this is because we are human and imperfect and I think that to see things in the negative light is the easiest thing to do. Conversly,  to identify the negative and then find the silver lining is one of the toughest things to do.

Admittedly, I have my days where I can’t see past the negative. This past month and half has been an incredibly difficult time. Many of you have been following Me for some time now so there’s no need to explain why this is so. For those who haven’t – just know that it’s been a trying time in My life.  I’ve felt an immense weight of responsibility, faced with some family health problems, not to mention the every day occurances that just makes Me wonder who’s Cheerios I pissed in (I call these “What the fuck?!” moments).

Often times I think about Karama – what I’ve done in the past that is currently affecting My future.  Keeping My Karmic slate clean is something that’s important to Me, not because I fear what would happen if I didn’t but because I give a damn about the impact of My reactions on others. When something negative happens to Me, I like to take a moment and reflect upon what I have done and how I can correct it.  I never want to have a negative impact on anyone around Me, intentional or otherwise, but I realize that I am human and impefect. These things do happen.

After a few days of wallowing and feeling bad for Myself this past week, I’ve finally overcome the negativity and am determined to stay positive. To hike up My positive knee socks and jump back into the game where I belong. If I’m honest with Myself, I know that I’m not happy unless I’m in the mix of it all, fighting for what I want. So… here I am.

I’m extremtly happy about this up and coming tour. While it’s not shaping up, yet, to be what I want I know it eventually will. I’m happy to have a session later this week where I get the slap the ever lovin’ shit out of some little maggot. That puts a smile on My face.

Back to kicking some ass,

Derek