So, last night I found myself in a rather shitty mood. You know the one – where you just want to wallow in your pissy mood and tell everyone to fuck off.  We all get them, don’t we? So there I was, emailing clients with My travel schedule and I get a response from someone in the DC area :

And waste my money? Yeah right! 300 bucks to get molested by an average looking woman? .. yeah

If I could have video taped My facial response when I read this I’m sure it would have been hysterical. I’m sure My eyes widened as I took a deep breath and then… proceeded to laugh My fool head off!  I laughed so long and so loudly that My younger brother had to come into my office and ask Me “what the fuck is Your problem?!”

I’m sure you’re wondering what My response was, so here it is :

Of course I’m average looking – did you expect green hair and warts?  Really, you think you’d be molested? Man-handled, surely. Slapped down into a position of subservience (where you ought to be, by the by), most certainly. But MOLESTED? Surely not!

Interestingly enough, he didn’t respond back. I have to admit that I’m a bit disappointed, I wanted to continue the banter. Kudos to him though, he brought Me back to being my normal, chipper self.  There’s nothing like a cheeky bitch to lighten Your mood. I almost wish he would session with Me so that I can sharpen my teeth on his bones. Oh well, I’m sure the bitches that DO session with Me love what I do to them. Bless each one of you little maggots.

So, for those who love Me and want to session with me, here are my dates :

• Nov. 30 Chicago
• Dec. 1 Detroit
• Dec. 2 Cleveland
• Dec. 3 Pittsburgh
• Dec. 4 Philadelphia
• Dec. 5-6 Rochester
• Dec. 7 Hartford
• Dec. 8 Boston
• Dec. 9 New York City
• Dec. 10 Long Island
• Dec. 11 Washington, DC
• Dec. 12 Cary NC

Don’t hesitate! Make sure to book your session with Me now. I have limited slots open and they are going fast – despite My average looks.

I can’t wait to see you all and beat you in to submission. God I love that!

xoxox

Derek